Do you like your nickname?

Wherever i go i seem to attract bizarre nicknames... most popular have been BovineMammal, Ottbott, and Nova. The explanations behind these ones are equally ridiculous and confidential. I am happy with Sheephead, it's gives me a identity and anyway, it's better than Jamie Oliver, since i am not a fat-lipped cockney cu*t.

We all know you have an anger management problem - are you doing anything to sort this out?

I have recently enrolled onto evening classes in beginners yoga (although i see myself as more of an intermediate really) where i have learnt how to control my anger and to breathe deeply from my diaphragm... i have also taken to reading a chapter of the Quran (the holy book of the islams) every night before retiring to my waterbed with soothing sealife sounds in the background.

You have played pretty much everywhere this season. Where is your preferred position?

I think my preferred position would have to be as centre-forward but since we have approximately 16 other players that would be better than me in that position i am happy to be a utility player... and fitting into the team whenever needed... oh, linesman is a safe bet aswell. I quite enjoyed playing on the right of midfield, i see myself as a Gronkjaer but without the pace (i.e. a bit crap) on the wing.

We have seen you turn up to football on a Vespa and in a car - which is your chosen method of transport?

The car isn't mine (it belongs to the missus) so i can only use that when she isn't going shopping. If we are playing at home then I tend to use the Vespa, but if away then it's the Punto... because i have yet to develop the ability to ride my vespa one handed whilst reading a map. Maybe i will start experimenting with different methods of transport... i quite like the idea of getting 3 buses to games, ala Steve Martin. Perhaps we could get a Helipad installed up at the Imperial?

How reliable is the Vespa? Its already cost you an appearance against City Darts this year. Can we expect to find you at the rest of our games?

I was deeply disappointed to miss the City Darts game, that is the only time i've really had any problems with my Vespa you will be pleased to know. So expect to see me at most of the remaining games this year (if only to cheer you lot on whilst i am still sidelined with my career-threatening sprained ankle)

If we get to the cup final can we shear your sheep-locks???

My sheeplocks are my pride and joy. We would need to win the Cup before any shearing was considered. Anyway, i would look like a cancer sufferer with no hair. And 'head' would be a rubbish nickname.

Do you think Bell should have brought us back some cheerleaders?

As long as they were better looking than those in the picture you keep on showing on the hotseat page, they are minging. Maybe he could have brought them over for the end of season tour.

Can we expect to see you in the green and white hoops next season?

I would consider it an honour and a privilege to still be playing for the mighty BOI next season. I have only previously played one season of football before which was for Woking under 13's when we got a total of 1 point all season long so this season has by far been my most successful season of football, and now i have the appetite for more.

What has been your high and low point of the season so far?

My high point of the season so far would be completing my first full 90 minutes (and then another subsequent 30 after that) in last weeks cup game against Beaconsfield. My low point would be the previously mentioned Vespa breakdown in Downend on the way to the City Darts game in Mangotsfield. My reckless tackle that got me a yellow card against BAWA would come second in both categories.