Sam how do you feel you are playing this season?

Well, I'm playing Ok but obviously my fitness isn't what it used to be. I'd like to get more involved in games when we've got the ball but I'm not sure my legs are up to it...

Bawa away was the second time you have been sent off this seaon - do you think this is a discipline problem?

No. The first sending off was entirely my fault. I acted like a c*nt and apologised for it. I refuse to accept the second one though. Mother Theresa could have got sent off in that game.

You were sent off at Bawa under Dan Donaldsons name. Have you got a message for Double D?

You'd better start saving to pay the fine! Only joking. Sorry dude. Just as well you can't catch me at the moment....

You have played in a variety of positions at BOI right back, right wing and goalkeeper Centre back. Where is your prefered position?

I prefer playing in midfield cos you get more of the ball, but I'm too unfit for it, so I'll say right back. I don't enjoy centre half too much. Some fat bloke kicking a ball at your face for 90 minutes ain't funny on a sunday morning.

Who do you model your game on?

A happy mixture of Gary Neville and Stalin, although less likely to commit genocide.
    

You have earned yourself the nick name 'red mist'. Is that an accurate description of you?

I hope not. I've only got the rage once and was punished accordingly. Its not like I tried to fight an entire team single handedly or anything, isn't that right Barlow?

You have been on the scoresheet once already this season. Leaving you level on goals with Bell, Thorne and Donaldson. Who outof those would you most like to beat?

To be honest I'm after Nic and Olivier. I'm not letting that Pesky Charlton take all the glory, lazy goal hanger. At the very least I've got to beat Donaldson. He's not scored for 5 years, he's only played at centre half, he's out very several months AND he's got a gypsy curse on him. If I can't beat him then I need to work on my shooting in pre-season.

How has the fines you have picked up affected your bank balance - word has it you haven't paid anything yet....

Daz has very kindly allowed me to pay in installments. I might have a word with Kev and see if I can mortgage my garden shed or summat.

What has been your highlight and lowlight of the season so far?

The highlight would have to be my goalscoring man-of-the-match game against (Help Adam. Who was it?)  (Beaconsfield away)  The lowlight would be being sent off the first time. I really should have just shut up. Although lobbing Matt from 40 yards and getting beat 16-1 are close seconds.

What is your prediction for the rest of the season regarding league and cup?

Olympique to make a clean sweep of the cup competitions (well, the ones we aren't getting beat 16-1 in anyway) and to come 3rd in the league so we haven't got to play anyone better next season. Oh, and lasting 90 minutes in a few games would be good too.

Can we expect to see you playing in the green and white hoops next season?

Well, my agents have had offers from a number of clubs, including one in Japan, but my family are settled in the area and I hope we can agree terms soon. I believe the only sticking point left in the contract is whether I get cheese n' onion or salt n' vinegar.

If you had to compare yourself to a player who would it be?

Who was that right back at City who got sent off for leathering the ball into the crowd at Reading?

    -  Gerard Lavin - badly missed

Back to your sendings off. Don't you think it would be cheaper to pay for some anger management courses rather than all the fines? You could split the cost with Sheephead?

I've been thinking of going to one of those places where they let you smash up pianos with a lump-hammer. Not for anger management or anything, just cos it sounds like a laugh.

With you and Matt Andrews both battling for the right back berth- who do you see coming out on top?

Well, if Kev is genuinely talking of retirement maybe me and Matt can form our own formidable partnership down the right. I think we both bring something to the role and thats one for the manager to decide (if it'll help I'm willing to resort to blackmail, after I've paid my fines)

Where can the loser fit in?

Left back. We've had about 14 different players there this season.